To All the Boys I Liked Before

Whenever I read my blog entries here I feel like people look at me like a total flirt, because I have been talking about different guys I liked (I cannot deny that because it’s the truth). The guy I liked last summer, the guy I liked last last summer, the guy I liked in the first semester, and so on and so forth.

I admit, I do easily have crush on guys, and I feel like it’s a problem. I easily admire guys and neither one of them ever liked me back (haaayyy life).

But before any of you call me a flirt (slut and whore aren’t appropriate terms for I did not use my body in any sexual way), let me tell you about the guys I have liked since high school (hehe).

According to the literaries, and social media posts I have read, girls really do have tons of crushes, so I’m warning you, this might be a long post, hence, I know you’ll enjoy reading them as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them…

High School

Code Name: Tungsten

Admiration Duration: first year high school – fourth year high school

Crush Level: (90%) Mistaken for Love

Characteristics: Tall, dark, handsome, has a deep voice, smokes cigar, loves drinking Cobra energy drink, notable for his grey hair

Story: I started liking him because of his voice. He is literally the one who wakes us up during boring classes. I also consider him as the cutest guy in our classroom. One day, my friends and I played ‘spin the bottle’, the bottle pointed at me and they asked me who I think is the cutest in our classroom, I answered his name and the next thing I know, the whole classroom knew my secret (jeez). But we have never been together for he was courting one of my best friends, and it has always been that way since the day I started liking him. 

Now: We literally do not see each other although we live near slightly near each other and he has a girlfriend now, and it’s not the best friend I was talking about.


First Year College

  1. Code Name: 5892

Admiration Duration: first year college – now (whenever I see him)

Crush Level: (100%) Ultimate Crush!!!

Characteristics: Chubby, has a fair skin, videographer, theatre actor, talented, a badminton player, cute, smart, now lives in New Zealand

Story: I first saw him at our freshmen orientation, he was a senior student then. I joined the choir because I know he was a member of it. I also volunteered to be secretary just to get his number, and I literally studied video editing because he was good at it. He was my cheerleader (although he doesn’t notice me often), he gives me the kind of motivation I lack now. We’re not close but he smiles and talks to me whenever necessary. He knows my name and well he knows I can sing. He sometimes greet me on my birthday (lol). I literally think about him every single minute of every day. Until one day, I found out he has a girlfriend. I know I should stop liking him, but I just cannot. And although I knew he belonged to someone else, I still continue to like him because for me he was perfect af.

Now: He has a new girlfriend (and his old girlfriend has a new boyfriend now lol). He’s studying film in New Zealand, and the last time I saw him was last December (he didn’t even said hi to me).


2. Code Name: Kirito

Admiration Duration: Sometime between my first semester and my second semester in first year college

Crush Level: (79%)I almost got obsessed

Characteristics: ultra white, anime faced, gamer, a computer engineering student

Story: I met him while I was studying in the library. He then joined the choir because of his friends who already joined the choir. I tried talking to him but he was cold as ice and he obviously had a crush on my close friend (gaaahd). I also decided to stop liking him when one of my best friend’s classmate started obsessing over him.

Now: We see each other often but I don’t like him anymore. Hahaha! I have moved on.


3. Code Name: Radar

Admiration Duration: Second semester first year college

Crush Level: (77%) You’re manly I almost drooled

Characteristics: Tall, medical technology student, thin, total douchebag

Story: I have this thing for tall and thin guys, that’s the reason I liked him. There’s no much story about him, just the day my best friend introduced me to him (they were classmates), and the day he told one of my firends that I am not reached by his radar. This guy is a jerk. He’s not even that charismatic to begin with! Can’t he just be thankful that somebody admired his cuteness. Geez.

Now: He has a girlfriend, and I seldom see him. (Good for me)


4. Code Name:  Meant To Be

Admiration Duration: First year college – present

Crush Level: (200%) Wonderwall

Characteristics: He has fair skin, thin, artist, videographer, photographer, dancer

Story: I remember how I first saw him, it was our literature class and he walked beside our classroom. Knowing that we have a lot in common, I started obsessing over him. LITERALLY. I followed all his social media accounts (I unfollowed him afterwards because he didn’t follow me back). I collected all the papers that has his name on it. I saved all of his pictures on my phone. He was my phone wallpaper, and screensaver. I always go to their classroom and peek at the windows to see him. I always followed him wherever he and his gang would go. I remembered every detail I learned about him, EVERY DETAIL. I take pictures of him whenever I see him, and I always claim that we’ll end up together. Yes! I was a total stalker, until now. I still ask him on his account and I still watch his videos on youtube.

Now: He’s courting somebody. I have already warned myself that I should stop liking him but I cannot refrain  myself from thinking we might end up being together.


Second Year College

Code Name: Close Guy Friend

Admiration Duration: Second Year College – first semester

Crush Level: (89%) I assumed in every way possible lol

Characteristics: He’s a great singer, he plays the guitar, he’s one of my closest friend

Story: I started liking him in our summer vacation, I enjoyed talking to him and teasing him. Then the next thing I know, I begged him to like me (secretly). I would always tells tories about a certain guy when in fact it was him. (Yes, I was this corny). I eventually gave up on him when I realized he will never ever give a damn a bout me because I was not pretty. 

Now: He’s my choirmate’s boyfriend and we still are close friends.


Third Year College

  1. Code Name: Dude

Admiration Duration: Summer only

Crush Level: (43%) I was blinded jeez

Characteristics: skater, a childhood friend, douchebag, jerk, evil, gaaaah

Story: After 8 years we finally saw each other again, and maybe I just missed him so much I had mistaken it for liking him. We flirted with each other, how stupid of me to think that it was real. And whenever I remember it, I’m disgusted with myself and I cannot believe I have flirted with this kind of creature. I should’ve been friends with him instead (gaaaaahd. it’s so disgusting. eew)



2. Code Name:  Prof

Admiration Duration: First semester third year

Crush Level: (80%) I thought I can fool you

Characteristics:  Thin, looks like a skull, a professor, tall

Story: I told you I have this thing for tall and thin guys. He was a young professor last semester I couldn’t help but have a crush on him. I always go to the faculty office to see him. I always asked his students about him. I literally did everything to make him notice me. At the end, I learned that there’s nothing much special about him. I stopped liking him when I began to learn shocking things about him. At the very moment, the perfect image he had on me was gone, and I realized, I deserve someone better than a guy like him.

Now: He’s not in the university anymore. He has a new girlfriend. 


I told you this will be a long one.

Out of all these boys. I always go back to Meant To Be. Always. That’s why he’s my wonderwall.

Until now, even though he’ll be graduating soon. I still stalk him on social media, and cry about how he and his girl spend sweet moments together. I am so envious of the girl. But I know someday I will find a guy better than Meant To Be will ever be, but for now, I’ll let my heart beat crazily for him, because I know it’s enivitable, and stupid at the same time.


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